Helpful Hints for the Just Divorced

2007-03-08 10:33:40

( Legal )



Divorce is Painful

Ending a bad marriage is never easy. The process of getting divorced is painful for both spouses, especially if there is a third party and children involved.

Divorce is also expensive and time consuming. You have to seek the advice of a divorce lawyer, comply with the needed paperwork, and attend court hearings. Court proceedings can get very bitter, especially if you're battling for child custody or claiming ownership of property, savings accounts, business and other assets.

How to get divorced is only half of the problem. The other half is how to survive and recover from its effects. A good majority of people who have just divorced still feel the impact even months or years after the settlement proceedings. While some feel relief and a new sense of freedom that comes with being allowed to remarry, many others feel hatred or resentment towards their ex-spouses, as well as loneliness, emptiness and depression. Negative feelings are further aggravated by loss of your assets and by being separated from your children.

Help for the Just Divorced

Get a new job or open a business that can support you financially, especially if you have child custody. Move to another location for a change of scenery so that you are not constantly reminded of the experience, preferably away from areas where you might run into your spouse.

Adopt a new hobby or recreational activity that will fill up your free time, and keep you from brooding over the divorce. It would also be a great idea to socialize again and to attend parties or travel with friends or family.

Seek professional help with a psychiatrist or therapist. If this is beyond your budget, a good alternative is to join a support group at your local community, or church. The support group is a great chance for you to vent your feelings as well as get advice from peers who have experiences that are to yours.

You may also want to read self-improvement and religious books to keep your sanity. There are countless books about coping with life after divorce and also about child-rearing responsibilities.

The most important thing is to recognize what you are feeling as someone who has just divorced, especially if you're not happy about it. You need to accept the big change, yet feel that you can still do things to make your situation better.


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